Memorial Day was a blast.
Alex, Nick and I drove up to San Luis Obispo on Friday night and went out to Frog 'n Peach to get a couple warm up brews for Saturday's festivities. In the morning we drove down to Avila Beach for Beerfest, and simple words cannot describe how glorious it was. The best thing I can say for it is that whatever you are imagining a Beer Festival to be like, your imagination would be pretty close to nailing what it was like. There were booths run by breweries you knew, some you had heard of, and some entirely off the wall ones. The booths ran as far as the eye could see! Alex took pictures, so I will not be proven false.
Saturday night we went out to dinner at Viene Vai, and Nick thought it would be a good idea to put wine in his stomach after a day of continuous beer drinking. He would regret it later when we watched Pan's Labyrinth to wind down the night.
On Sunday, went golfing with Alex and Brent. Laguna Lake greens fees have doubled in price in the last 4 years. Fuck them, that course isn't worth 10 bucks. Afterwards, went to Firestone and continued the tradition of ingesting the best Tri-Tip sandwiches the central coast has to offer.
Monday we drove home, we stopped at Chumash on the way and I won a decent chunk of cash playing poker, which pretty much paid for my....
NEW GUITAR. I just bought it a couple hours ago, and I can't wait to start playing it.
Oh, and work sucks after a 3 day weekend. Sunburns suck too.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Starcraft Secretary
So... since the two women that usually answer the phone aren't here today, I'm the acting phone picker-upper. Its fun to mess with people.
I also found this sweet music player: I'm pretty sure you'll know what they are really fast... and if you're just ignorant, Terran 2 and Terran 3 are definitely monster tracks. I'm going to repeat this stuff throughout the day.
http://www.battle.net/window.shtml
I also found this sweet music player: I'm pretty sure you'll know what they are really fast... and if you're just ignorant, Terran 2 and Terran 3 are definitely monster tracks. I'm going to repeat this stuff throughout the day.
http://www.battle.net/window.shtml
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Massive Purging
I am in the process of purging myself of all my old shit.
What is "old shit"? Old shit is stuff you have that you do not use, and will not ever use in the future. For instance... all those clothes in the closet you don't wear anymore? Old shit. Track awards from high school and useless electronics from ages ago? Old shit. I have tons of it sitting around, and its time for it to go.
It is actually quite therapeutic to get rid of all this stuff. I am SO happy I'm doing it. Ah, the things you can get done when you're not playing Warcraft.
What is "old shit"? Old shit is stuff you have that you do not use, and will not ever use in the future. For instance... all those clothes in the closet you don't wear anymore? Old shit. Track awards from high school and useless electronics from ages ago? Old shit. I have tons of it sitting around, and its time for it to go.
It is actually quite therapeutic to get rid of all this stuff. I am SO happy I'm doing it. Ah, the things you can get done when you're not playing Warcraft.
Call on Me
I know it's old, but someone sent me a link to the "Call on Me" music video. I forgot how damn catchy this song is. (Oh... the video is semi-nsfw)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhZV91xkThs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhZV91xkThs
Sidenote
Trader Joe's has amazing Cinnamon bread. I had a piece at work just now and lets just say I might have to go home and change my pants.
The organic peanut butter is pretty amazing too. God bless Trader Joe's.
I have also made the decision to learn to play guitar (since I have a natural musical aptitude) to fill my time so I don't sit at the computer and websurf when I can't get onto my Warcraft account. It might be difficult to start a new instrument at the age of 23, but i certainly have the time in the evenings to explore it. Once you remove Warcraft, theres a pretty big hole to fill time-wise. I probably won't be able to put more than an hour or two into it a day, but I am really looking forward to it.
The organic peanut butter is pretty amazing too. God bless Trader Joe's.
I have also made the decision to learn to play guitar (since I have a natural musical aptitude) to fill my time so I don't sit at the computer and websurf when I can't get onto my Warcraft account. It might be difficult to start a new instrument at the age of 23, but i certainly have the time in the evenings to explore it. Once you remove Warcraft, theres a pretty big hole to fill time-wise. I probably won't be able to put more than an hour or two into it a day, but I am really looking forward to it.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Beerfest
Yes, it exists: in San Luis Obispo, California THIS WEEKEND. And of course, I have a ticket. You had to buy them months in advance, because they are sold the fuck out. I'm looking forward to hanging out with friends from school, getting plastered, and then going golfing with the roommates the next day. Should be a blast.
More of a blast than, say.... Serpentshrine Cavern or Tempest Keep. OH SNAP!
More of a blast than, say.... Serpentshrine Cavern or Tempest Keep. OH SNAP!
Monday, May 21, 2007
An answer to a previous question
I need to procure myself a fresh copy of Starcraft 1 and play through it, maybe some practice matches on Battle.net. I haven't played an RTS game in a while, and when I did, I wasn't the best at it because I never practiced enough. The problem is my ADD totally kicks in during long games where you have to put a lot of effort into multiple fronts in order to succeed. My brain usually has fun for a little while, then decides it is too much work and says 'fuck it' and eventually i just send my whole army to obliteration just so i can grab a drink or watch TV.
It appears Starcraft 2 will be more of the same: more highly intensive brain-work. It's too bad I do that for a job most of the day, and I like something casual that I don't have to think too much about. This is why World of Warcraft fit me so well. I am going to see if my brain has changed and can now handle intense competitive Starcraft gameplay, but I figure it will probably be the same as the first one. I will spend tons of time on the Single Player Campaigns, not stopping until I beat the game. Then I will play online for a while, beating the people who are terrible and losing horribly to the Koreans. Then, I'll find a new game to play.
I'm hoping that Halo 3 Multiplayer is so good that I won't be tempted to leave it when Starcraft comes out, but we'll see. At least I will have access through my WoW guild to solid groups of pro-gamers to play with.
It appears Starcraft 2 will be more of the same: more highly intensive brain-work. It's too bad I do that for a job most of the day, and I like something casual that I don't have to think too much about. This is why World of Warcraft fit me so well. I am going to see if my brain has changed and can now handle intense competitive Starcraft gameplay, but I figure it will probably be the same as the first one. I will spend tons of time on the Single Player Campaigns, not stopping until I beat the game. Then I will play online for a while, beating the people who are terrible and losing horribly to the Koreans. Then, I'll find a new game to play.
I'm hoping that Halo 3 Multiplayer is so good that I won't be tempted to leave it when Starcraft comes out, but we'll see. At least I will have access through my WoW guild to solid groups of pro-gamers to play with.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
STARCRAFT 2!!!!
There are glimmers of hope in the future. Hopes of good games that capture our imaginations and give us an experience we will never forget. It has been years since something like that came out for me, WoW being the last great game.
Enter Halo 3 and Starcraft 2. I better save up enough money now so that I can quit my job and play these games religiously when they arrive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut3k0iBn_mE
Enter Halo 3 and Starcraft 2. I better save up enough money now so that I can quit my job and play these games religiously when they arrive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut3k0iBn_mE
Friday, May 18, 2007
Self-Realization
It's taken quite a long time for me to figure out, but I finally figured out that I am an "introvert".
The basic crux of the concept is that extroverts thrive on social interaction, while introverts tend to avoid it. You can go on google or wikipedia and get a much more in-depth explanation to the concepts, as I am too lazy to type it all out.
/start rant
I find it a huge chore to go out, especially when we go 'to the bars'. All we end up doing is sitting around, drinking incredibly overpriced liquor while trying to have a conversation over loud blaring music. My jewish brain believes we could do better drinking cheap liquor at home and playing games / watching movies and such... and god forbid be able to hear each other talk. The extent of excitement we get from going out is dependent solely on whether Nick gets drunk to the point where he might get in a fight / offend women / get arrested / all of the above. My happiness with these situations depends entirely on my BAC. If I'm as drunk as he is, I have a great time. However, this usually isn't the case, and my friend instincts kick in and I just take care of my drunk friends the rest of the night. I'd rather get trashed and play duo guitar hero or halo 2 on xbox live with them instead. Well, not halo 2 anymore because its usually only the 3 of us and because I used to be so much better than them all they do is double team the crap out of me when I pull ahead, combined with the fact we played it so much the maps are incredibly stale. I can't wait for halo 3, by the way.
/end rant
I've also realized how lazy a person I really have developed into. I'll talk more about that later, I'm TOO LAZY TO TYPE IT ALL! :)
The basic crux of the concept is that extroverts thrive on social interaction, while introverts tend to avoid it. You can go on google or wikipedia and get a much more in-depth explanation to the concepts, as I am too lazy to type it all out.
/start rant
I find it a huge chore to go out, especially when we go 'to the bars'. All we end up doing is sitting around, drinking incredibly overpriced liquor while trying to have a conversation over loud blaring music. My jewish brain believes we could do better drinking cheap liquor at home and playing games / watching movies and such... and god forbid be able to hear each other talk. The extent of excitement we get from going out is dependent solely on whether Nick gets drunk to the point where he might get in a fight / offend women / get arrested / all of the above. My happiness with these situations depends entirely on my BAC. If I'm as drunk as he is, I have a great time. However, this usually isn't the case, and my friend instincts kick in and I just take care of my drunk friends the rest of the night. I'd rather get trashed and play duo guitar hero or halo 2 on xbox live with them instead. Well, not halo 2 anymore because its usually only the 3 of us and because I used to be so much better than them all they do is double team the crap out of me when I pull ahead, combined with the fact we played it so much the maps are incredibly stale. I can't wait for halo 3, by the way.
/end rant
I've also realized how lazy a person I really have developed into. I'll talk more about that later, I'm TOO LAZY TO TYPE IT ALL! :)
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Virtual Haircut
http://www.break.com/index/amazing-digital-surround-sound.html
Just put on a nice headset, close your eyes, and get your hair cut. Really cool.
Just put on a nice headset, close your eyes, and get your hair cut. Really cool.
dum de dum
Well, not going to vegas this weekend like i had hoped. I'll be in Santa Monica tomorrow night for Alex's birthday instead. Designated Driver inc.
Oh, and September 25th is permanently seared into my brain as the upcoming date that I am looking forward to.
*queue halo music*
Oh, and September 25th is permanently seared into my brain as the upcoming date that I am looking forward to.
*queue halo music*
Late Wednesday Night
So, work has been hectic as all hell this week, but I'm making do. I went with Lance to the Dodger game tonight, and of course we sat in the all you can eat pavillion. So much for those workouts this week.
The Dodgers eeked out a win with a three run jack from Wilson Betemit... who has to be the most frustrating player ever. He hits .120 for a month and a half, loses his starting job, and with 5 pinch hit appearances he is 4/5 with three home runs and a double. Maybe if you did that WHEN YOU WERE GETTING 4 AT BATS A DAY you wouldn't have lost your job in the first place, Wilson!
Anyways, its late, and I should be getting to bed. Time to throw on the Lord of the Rings special features DVD... puts me to sleep every time.
The Dodgers eeked out a win with a three run jack from Wilson Betemit... who has to be the most frustrating player ever. He hits .120 for a month and a half, loses his starting job, and with 5 pinch hit appearances he is 4/5 with three home runs and a double. Maybe if you did that WHEN YOU WERE GETTING 4 AT BATS A DAY you wouldn't have lost your job in the first place, Wilson!
Anyways, its late, and I should be getting to bed. Time to throw on the Lord of the Rings special features DVD... puts me to sleep every time.
Monday, May 14, 2007
re:hobby
I've been watching a lot of movies lately to fill the time that I'm not down in LA hanging with the '01 crew. I watched Curse of the Golden Flower last night.. and it was average at best. I think the only reason I rented it was because it was the least crappy looking movie on the shelves at Blockbuster, not because I was interested in the plot or anything. That, and I probably was drawn to the asians with large breasts in tiny outfits (the movie's only redeemable quality besides Chow Yun Fat playing the emperor).
I'm waiting for Pan's Labyrinth to come out. That is probably one of the only movies coming soon that I wanted to see in theaters but for some reason eluded me.
I'm waiting for Pan's Labyrinth to come out. That is probably one of the only movies coming soon that I wanted to see in theaters but for some reason eluded me.
I need a hobby
A couple of weeks ago, I made a commitment to myself to quit playing World of Warcraft. This in and of itself was probably one of the best changes I could have made in my life, but it is not without its side-effects. I used to spend hours and hours in a row sitting at my computer, and now I have no idea what to do with those hours. I work a fairly long 5 days a week, but it is the evenings I am having trouble filling. I need a hobby of some kind (besides watching Dodger games) to fill my time.
I try to think of what I did before I started playing. I started after I graduated college, and well... lets just say there is no way I could recreate my lifestyle from SLO while living at my parents house in Westlake.
I have started to work out again as a start, and hopefully I can hold this job down for a long enough period to where I feel comfortable moving out and not saving my money. I guess the Jewish traits are overwhelming all my other ones, keeping me at home with a fast-growing bank account. Eventually, however, I will lose my sanity. Before, I had Warcraft completely masking my reality.... now that the blinders are off, my mental health / happiness with my life has diminished considerably. Regardless of financial reasons, I should move out and regain the lifestyle I had in college.
I try to think of what I did before I started playing. I started after I graduated college, and well... lets just say there is no way I could recreate my lifestyle from SLO while living at my parents house in Westlake.
I have started to work out again as a start, and hopefully I can hold this job down for a long enough period to where I feel comfortable moving out and not saving my money. I guess the Jewish traits are overwhelming all my other ones, keeping me at home with a fast-growing bank account. Eventually, however, I will lose my sanity. Before, I had Warcraft completely masking my reality.... now that the blinders are off, my mental health / happiness with my life has diminished considerably. Regardless of financial reasons, I should move out and regain the lifestyle I had in college.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Mothers Day
I had to pick up my Grandma from Camarillo and drive her home... during which all she talked about was how she's dying of cancer and that I need to hang out with her more. She has been doing this for the last couple years now. My brother Aaron and I have talked about this quite a bit. We all feel really bad for her, but it gets annoying when that is ALL she talks about whenever we see her. I don't think she is able to have a conversation about anything else, because if you turn the conversation from it, she always manages to bring it back up again. Its an interesting situation.
Besides that, Mothers Day was good. Tasty breakfast followed by watching the Dodger game (which the Dodgers won).
Now I can relax for a couple hours before another week of work crushes my soul.
Besides that, Mothers Day was good. Tasty breakfast followed by watching the Dodger game (which the Dodgers won).
Now I can relax for a couple hours before another week of work crushes my soul.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
That 'party' wasn't so bad. I also worked out today, and i'm already at 205 just 4 workouts later. I can't wait to be my alpha-male self again, but that will take a couple months. My goal is to get down to 180, and be able to run a 6 minute mile with the feeling that I would be able to go again. Baby steps, Logan... baby steps.
I have to help clean up after the party now... at least there is plenty of food and alcohol left over.
I have to help clean up after the party now... at least there is plenty of food and alcohol left over.
Dad's Retirement Party
So, my dad is having his retirement party at our house today. 40-60 people from Moorpark College dressed in Hawaiian shirts have converged upon my house. I have never had a larger urge to not meet with people than I do at this moment. I think I was less averse to girls when I was in 1st grade when I thought they had cooties.
Today its this, tomorrow is Mothers Day. Not my ideal relaxing weekend.
Today its this, tomorrow is Mothers Day. Not my ideal relaxing weekend.
Friday, May 11, 2007
MLBTV
Listening to Bob Eucker announce the Brewers/Mets game. I love this thing.
Juuuuuuuuuuuuuust a bit outside!
Juuuuuuuuuuuuuust a bit outside!
I saw this video and it practically melted my brain.
DragonForce - Through the Fire and Flames / Fury of the Storm.... on Guitar Hero. That guy is my hero. (even though its probably a fat asian guy with no life)
Fire n Flames (insane)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV0qM6-HLuk
Fury of the Storm (even more insane)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_29IFMJNt7s
And possibly the greatest video on youtube I have EVER seen... a giant piece of pizza playing a custom made double-neck guitar doing both players at once:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alY43qMvxM0
DragonForce - Through the Fire and Flames / Fury of the Storm.... on Guitar Hero. That guy is my hero. (even though its probably a fat asian guy with no life)
Fire n Flames (insane)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV0qM6-HLuk
Fury of the Storm (even more insane)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_29IFMJNt7s
And possibly the greatest video on youtube I have EVER seen... a giant piece of pizza playing a custom made double-neck guitar doing both players at once:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alY43qMvxM0
WoW
I have a feeling I won't be able to remove Warcraft from my life until I have something else to do in the evenings. Since I live with my parents, I believe that will not change anytime soon, until I move out with Nick and Alex (which currently is not happening due to my strenuous tenancy at work).
Stupid Game. I hates you. I hates you! *Queue Gollum Schizoid scene from LOTR*
Stupid Game. I hates you. I hates you! *Queue Gollum Schizoid scene from LOTR*
Work and life in general
Work is going pretty good today. Perhaps I'm too hard on myself, but I really need to get things moving in the right direction if this is truly what I'm going to be doing for the next couple years (or perhaps longer).
I keep having thoughts about 'the big picture' of my life, and the way things are vs. what they probably should be:
I am 23 years old, have a great finance job, and live at home with my parents. Granted, in my current financial situation, this is my only realistic option. If I am absolutely sure (which right now, I am not in the slightest) that I will be able to hold down this job for a while, I would be more than happy to move out and commit a portion of my salary to rent and live with my friends. However, I don't want to be caught with my pants down, i.e. unemployed and saddled with money problems. Living at home, which is death for my social/love life, is hopefully going to provide me the financial freedom in a year or so to make up for it.
I can't help by think that I am wasting my 20's, though. You are only young once, and once you hit 30, you really need to be secure and have the rest of your life pretty much planned out. I don't want to be 'that guy' that everyone knows, the guy who is still struggling with what he wants to do when he's already... old.
Do I want to sit in an office for the rest of my life? I'm not sure that I do. "I'm not sure..." is the answer to 95% of the questions about my life's current direction. I want to be sure. I just have no idea how to be.
I keep having thoughts about 'the big picture' of my life, and the way things are vs. what they probably should be:
I am 23 years old, have a great finance job, and live at home with my parents. Granted, in my current financial situation, this is my only realistic option. If I am absolutely sure (which right now, I am not in the slightest) that I will be able to hold down this job for a while, I would be more than happy to move out and commit a portion of my salary to rent and live with my friends. However, I don't want to be caught with my pants down, i.e. unemployed and saddled with money problems. Living at home, which is death for my social/love life, is hopefully going to provide me the financial freedom in a year or so to make up for it.
I can't help by think that I am wasting my 20's, though. You are only young once, and once you hit 30, you really need to be secure and have the rest of your life pretty much planned out. I don't want to be 'that guy' that everyone knows, the guy who is still struggling with what he wants to do when he's already... old.
Do I want to sit in an office for the rest of my life? I'm not sure that I do. "I'm not sure..." is the answer to 95% of the questions about my life's current direction. I want to be sure. I just have no idea how to be.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
So....
The coffee at work was really good this morning, bringing extra contrast to how shitty everything else is. At the beginning of this job I was in a whirlpool of new concepts, terms, and processes. Now that I have become more familiar with them (5 months is enough for me to know that this is how things work) more questions are creeping into my head than "how do i do this?". Questions like:
A) How long will I be here? (probably not very long)
B) Does this line of work really suit me? (not really)
C) If you stayed at this job would you be happy? (no, but my bank account would be)
I have a fantastic job, a dream job for someone in my position. They treat me extremely well, the people are great, but ultimately the actual job just simply does not suit me. I went the finance route because I didn't know what else to do. Perhaps there is something I can do with my knowledge and skill-set that doesn't require being at an office desk and being extremely stressed for 12+ hours a day. Sadly, I can not think of anything like that, and so I continue on.
I need my brain to start working. At least the Dodgers won last night.
weight: 210 pounds. (gonna have to start tracking this so that I can actually see results... I'm probably in the worst shape of my life at this moment in time. I've had a natural aptitude to be able to shed weight easily and get in shape when I actually put any effort into it, so I'm not terribly concerned about this number right now)
mood: depressed
A) How long will I be here? (probably not very long)
B) Does this line of work really suit me? (not really)
C) If you stayed at this job would you be happy? (no, but my bank account would be)
I have a fantastic job, a dream job for someone in my position. They treat me extremely well, the people are great, but ultimately the actual job just simply does not suit me. I went the finance route because I didn't know what else to do. Perhaps there is something I can do with my knowledge and skill-set that doesn't require being at an office desk and being extremely stressed for 12+ hours a day. Sadly, I can not think of anything like that, and so I continue on.
I need my brain to start working. At least the Dodgers won last night.
weight: 210 pounds. (gonna have to start tracking this so that I can actually see results... I'm probably in the worst shape of my life at this moment in time. I've had a natural aptitude to be able to shed weight easily and get in shape when I actually put any effort into it, so I'm not terribly concerned about this number right now)
mood: depressed
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
MLB TV
Possibly the greatest invention ever created. I can watch or listen to any game at work. Nothing makes time go faster (or slower) than listening to the Dodgers.
Right now (4th inning) Tomko has a no-hitter, Dontrelle is doing terrible, and we're only up 1-0. Freakin' Dodgers. Score some fucking runs.
Right now (4th inning) Tomko has a no-hitter, Dontrelle is doing terrible, and we're only up 1-0. Freakin' Dodgers. Score some fucking runs.
Another Wednesday
I am having a problem completely removing World of Warcraft from my life. Even though I don't officially 'play' anymore, I still log on ventrilo most nights when I get home from work, log onto Dan's druid, and farm herbs or heal guildies. I check the forums for boss strats, read the forums, and look at patch notes / kill videos and whatnot.
Why do I still exhibit this behavior? Habit. For the last 2 years, I had made Warcraft a priority in my life, over things I shouldn't have, including work, family, and friends. Making the decision to quit was a hard one, but it is even harder to completely phase it out of my life. Having played with the same people for hours a night for a prolonged period of time made them more than random people... I considered them my friends. And in a way, they are. It is hard to simply abandon people you made a commitment to (and they to you) for such a long period. I guess I don't want to stop conversing/messing around with those people, and that is why I still log on Dan's druid. It should be interesting to see how I react when that account expires on the 24th, and I literally am cut off entirely, aside from hijacking my own character from Nick for random PvP/raids or whatever.
I have a feeling I will either:
A) Finally let go of the game and the people I played with
B) Have a relapse, reactivate Dan's druid, and relearn the game by way of druid (although I would have to enlist Chilinn in a crash course in how to play a resto-druid well)
C) Throw myself off a cliff because I can't do A. and won't let myself do B.
I hope it doesn't come to C. More on this later, I need to get back to work.
Why do I still exhibit this behavior? Habit. For the last 2 years, I had made Warcraft a priority in my life, over things I shouldn't have, including work, family, and friends. Making the decision to quit was a hard one, but it is even harder to completely phase it out of my life. Having played with the same people for hours a night for a prolonged period of time made them more than random people... I considered them my friends. And in a way, they are. It is hard to simply abandon people you made a commitment to (and they to you) for such a long period. I guess I don't want to stop conversing/messing around with those people, and that is why I still log on Dan's druid. It should be interesting to see how I react when that account expires on the 24th, and I literally am cut off entirely, aside from hijacking my own character from Nick for random PvP/raids or whatever.
I have a feeling I will either:
A) Finally let go of the game and the people I played with
B) Have a relapse, reactivate Dan's druid, and relearn the game by way of druid (although I would have to enlist Chilinn in a crash course in how to play a resto-druid well)
C) Throw myself off a cliff because I can't do A. and won't let myself do B.
I hope it doesn't come to C. More on this later, I need to get back to work.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Words to live by: Han Solo quotes (courtesy of digg)
15. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
When to say it: When you get a bad feeling, obviously
Had Han Solo been the only character to speak this line in the entire series, it definitely would have been much higher on the list. In reality, sadly, the line is present in every single Star Wars film, thus downplaying its importance as a method of character development, instead turning it into a device that allows George Lucas to wink at the audience. It’s a cute line, but it’s not distinctly Han Solo.
14. “Had a slight weapons malfunction, but everything's perfectly alright now. We're fine, we're all fine, here, now, thank you. How are you?”
When to say it: When your cell phone signal begins to break up
Granted, this is a Star Wars quote which will almost immediately get recognized as a Star Wars quote -- hopefully, you’ll never find yourself in a real life situation where you have to use the term “weapons malfunction.” Still, though, if you’ve got to go through the typically banal “wait, you’re breaking up – can you hear me?” conversation with a friend over your phone, why not throw in a Han Solo quote for good measure? Pretty much everything Harrison Ford says in the series is gold – in everyday life, one should always be searching for methods, no matter how forced, to speak the words of Han Solo.
13. “No, no, NO. THIS one goes THERE, THAT one goes THERE.”
When to say it: When working on a project with a partner
This particular quote won’t make you look particularly cool or Han Solo-ish, but if you use this quote on someone and they recognize it as what Han yells to Chewie at the beginning of Empire Strikes Back, marry them. Immediately. Doesn’t matter what gender they are.
12. “Great, kid. Don’t get cocky.”
When to say it: When a friend accomplishes something
As much as you like your friends, you can’t give them too much credit: genuine enthusiasm from one friend to another is generally a trait only shared by women, and Han Solo is decidedly not a woman (in fact, his penis could probably break concrete). You can only use this line (or lines like it) for only so long towards your friends – one must be careful to stay in the realm of “lovable asshole” and not crossover into “outright asshole” territory. You want your friends to stay your friends, regardless of how much you may want to mock their accomplishments.
11. “Never tell me the odds!”
When to say it: When gambling
If anything, a decision to not know the odds when gambling seems like lunacy. Logic would dictate that if you bet on a boxing match, you’d damn well better know the spread, right? Well, not if you want to look like a bad-ass, you don’t. Refusing to hear the odds when gambling is so blatant a mistake, so obvious a screw-up, that the other gamblers around you will have no choice but to seriously consider what you hope to accomplish by insulating yourself from the odds. Some of the more nervous men, influenced by your steadfast refusal to play by the rules, may change their bets. Their changed bets will influence others to change bets, and, before you know it, your one line of Han Solo dialogue has completely reversed the spread. And if, by chance, your boxer of choice should actually win, then you will be viewed as a gambling prodigy – a man with an unconventional, unbeatable system who knows exactly what he is doing. And as is the case with so many of these Han quotes, seeming to know what you’re doing is a lot more important than actually knowing what you’re doing.
10. “Yeah, I’ll bet you have.”
When to say it: When an intergalactic bounty hunter tells you he’s been waiting a long time to bring you in
But after you say it, MAKE SURE TO SHOOT FIRST. Even if you somehow manage to “dodge” his blaster shot and return fire in self-defense, it will look nowhere near as cool as if you’d just taken the initiative and blasted the sonofabitch before he knew what hit him. Honestly, what kind of moron would even consider not having Han shoot first?
9. “Here’s where the fun begins.”
When to say it: When you’re about to enter a dangerous situation
The purposes of this quote are twofold: firstly, it gives a greater sense of gravitas to whatever situation you are about to undertake. Even if it’s something as simple as getting called to your boss’s office, or taking an off-road shortcut on the way home, this quote alone will make the event seem much more dramatic and cool. Secondly, having made the event seem much cooler and more dangerous than it actually is, this quote will make the speaker seem that much more skilled, self-assured and bad-ass in the context of the event.
8. “You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.”
When to say it: Anytime
This is pretty much the catch-all arrogant wise-ass phrase to use whenever you do something worthy of congratulation. And if you consider yourself an arrogant wise-ass, then everything you do is worthy of congratulation.
7. “What an incredible smell you’ve discovered!”
When to say it: Anytime you smell something awful
When showing disgust, one has to show repulsion and righteous indignation without seeming like a complete and utter pansy, which is where this quote comes into play. Han is obviously not happy that Leia convinced him to jump down a garbage chute, but at the same time, he’s not running around, whining and crying over the fact that he’s knee-deep in human fecal matter. The “incredible smell” line serves as the perfect balance of arrogant irritation and bad-ass indifference to use when someone lets out a particularly gruesome fart.
6. “Laugh it up, fuzzball.”
When to say it: When a fat/hairy person laughs at you
Again: not outright whiny and confrontational, but this line lets everyone know that you mean business and that you’re tired of their crap. Nobody would dare ignore an insult as unconventional-yet-harsh as “fuzzball,” but they also wouldn’t start a fight over it.
5. “Wonderful girl. Either I’m going to kill her, or I’m beginning to like her.”
When to say it: When talking about a woman you’re attracted to
It’s okay to show attraction to a woman, but not unqualified attraction. It’s okay to show that you would very much like to date a girl you’ve just met, but only so long as you remember to state that you don’t really like her that much. Guys who show unqualified attraction to potential mates usually end up as the schmoes who get screwed over when push comes to shove (“push,” in this case, being a synonym for “woman,” while “shove” is a synonym for “musician”). Not to mention that if the girl hears you use this line, her curiosity will be piqued: why does he like me? Why does he want to kill me? Such curiosity will lead her to talk to you more frequently in a teasing attempt to get you to reveal what you really think about her. So long as you never reveal the truth, the teasing will make way for flirting, and the flirting will more than likely make way for astounding amounts of unprotected sex.
4. “How we doin’?”
“Same as always.”
“That bad, huh?”
When to say it: When asking someone about their day
Ah, world-weariness. The idea that you’ve seen everything, done everything and had sex with everything, and yet you still consider life to be generally disappointing and awful. When using a quote like this, people will wonder why you’re so world-weary, and, if you don’t tell them, you’ll seem to have some sort of dark and mysterious past that you never talk about, despite the reality that you spent most of your childhood eating Cheetos and watching Thundercats. Is there a more wonderfully cynical, yet strangely attractive worldview to have? I think not.
3. “I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field controls my destiny.”
When to say it: During a debate on religion
It doesn’t matter if you actually believe in God; you have to use this quote in a debate on religion. It’s specific and useful enough to not necessarily seem like a Star Wars quote, and it’s got just the right amount of pseudo-philosophy and world-weary ranting to make you seem infinitely cooler than the other person in the debate. Yeah, you’ve been around. You’ve seen the world. You know what it has to offer. And, you know what? None of it impresses you. You are in charge of your life. God? Psh. Who needs him? Granted, after the debate is done you may need to go home and pray for twenty straight minutes as a method of apologizing to your deity of choice, but the important thing is that, to the guy you argued against, you look like a total bad-ass who remains completely unafraid of Jehovah’s wrath.
2. “Hey…it’s me!”
When to say it: When someone tells you to “be careful”
Who are they to doubt you? Hey, it’s you! If you weren’t the careful, clever guy you were, you’d be dead by now. You don’t need expressions of worry – you’re too cool for that. Admittedly, right after Han says this in ROTJ he steps on a twig and alerts every stormtrooper in the vicinity to his presence, but ignore that for now.
1. “I love you.”
“I know.”
When to say it: Duh
If you use this line at least once in your lifetime, you can die a happy man. It is the epitome of everything Han Solo stands for: cocky and bad-ass, yet sincere. It’s rumored that George Lucas (though he didn’t direct Empire Strikes Back, or even write its screenplay) wanted Han to tell Leia that he “loved her too,” but Harrison Ford demanded that the current version of the line we all adore so very much. Solo’s final line to Leia before getting his shit carbonite-frozen is, bar-none, the greatest moment in the entire Star Wars saga.
Not to mention that if you use this line on a woman who is legitimately expressing love for you, it will drive her nuts. If there’s one thing women love – other than musicians – it’s having strong feelings for someone who doesn’t reciprocate them (especially if the person in question is a musician). If you respond to “I love you” with “I love you, too,” you’re essentially begging the woman to lose interest in you. Making an arrogant, not-quite reciprocation of that love that hints at possible affection without outright stating it is the most intelligent thing you can possibly do; it keeps the mystery up, it keeps you in control and you keep your dignity intact.
Han Solo knows this. That’s why he’s Han Solo.
When to say it: When you get a bad feeling, obviously
Had Han Solo been the only character to speak this line in the entire series, it definitely would have been much higher on the list. In reality, sadly, the line is present in every single Star Wars film, thus downplaying its importance as a method of character development, instead turning it into a device that allows George Lucas to wink at the audience. It’s a cute line, but it’s not distinctly Han Solo.
14. “Had a slight weapons malfunction, but everything's perfectly alright now. We're fine, we're all fine, here, now, thank you. How are you?”
When to say it: When your cell phone signal begins to break up
Granted, this is a Star Wars quote which will almost immediately get recognized as a Star Wars quote -- hopefully, you’ll never find yourself in a real life situation where you have to use the term “weapons malfunction.” Still, though, if you’ve got to go through the typically banal “wait, you’re breaking up – can you hear me?” conversation with a friend over your phone, why not throw in a Han Solo quote for good measure? Pretty much everything Harrison Ford says in the series is gold – in everyday life, one should always be searching for methods, no matter how forced, to speak the words of Han Solo.
13. “No, no, NO. THIS one goes THERE, THAT one goes THERE.”
When to say it: When working on a project with a partner
This particular quote won’t make you look particularly cool or Han Solo-ish, but if you use this quote on someone and they recognize it as what Han yells to Chewie at the beginning of Empire Strikes Back, marry them. Immediately. Doesn’t matter what gender they are.
12. “Great, kid. Don’t get cocky.”
When to say it: When a friend accomplishes something
As much as you like your friends, you can’t give them too much credit: genuine enthusiasm from one friend to another is generally a trait only shared by women, and Han Solo is decidedly not a woman (in fact, his penis could probably break concrete). You can only use this line (or lines like it) for only so long towards your friends – one must be careful to stay in the realm of “lovable asshole” and not crossover into “outright asshole” territory. You want your friends to stay your friends, regardless of how much you may want to mock their accomplishments.
11. “Never tell me the odds!”
When to say it: When gambling
If anything, a decision to not know the odds when gambling seems like lunacy. Logic would dictate that if you bet on a boxing match, you’d damn well better know the spread, right? Well, not if you want to look like a bad-ass, you don’t. Refusing to hear the odds when gambling is so blatant a mistake, so obvious a screw-up, that the other gamblers around you will have no choice but to seriously consider what you hope to accomplish by insulating yourself from the odds. Some of the more nervous men, influenced by your steadfast refusal to play by the rules, may change their bets. Their changed bets will influence others to change bets, and, before you know it, your one line of Han Solo dialogue has completely reversed the spread. And if, by chance, your boxer of choice should actually win, then you will be viewed as a gambling prodigy – a man with an unconventional, unbeatable system who knows exactly what he is doing. And as is the case with so many of these Han quotes, seeming to know what you’re doing is a lot more important than actually knowing what you’re doing.
10. “Yeah, I’ll bet you have.”
When to say it: When an intergalactic bounty hunter tells you he’s been waiting a long time to bring you in
But after you say it, MAKE SURE TO SHOOT FIRST. Even if you somehow manage to “dodge” his blaster shot and return fire in self-defense, it will look nowhere near as cool as if you’d just taken the initiative and blasted the sonofabitch before he knew what hit him. Honestly, what kind of moron would even consider not having Han shoot first?
9. “Here’s where the fun begins.”
When to say it: When you’re about to enter a dangerous situation
The purposes of this quote are twofold: firstly, it gives a greater sense of gravitas to whatever situation you are about to undertake. Even if it’s something as simple as getting called to your boss’s office, or taking an off-road shortcut on the way home, this quote alone will make the event seem much more dramatic and cool. Secondly, having made the event seem much cooler and more dangerous than it actually is, this quote will make the speaker seem that much more skilled, self-assured and bad-ass in the context of the event.
8. “You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.”
When to say it: Anytime
This is pretty much the catch-all arrogant wise-ass phrase to use whenever you do something worthy of congratulation. And if you consider yourself an arrogant wise-ass, then everything you do is worthy of congratulation.
7. “What an incredible smell you’ve discovered!”
When to say it: Anytime you smell something awful
When showing disgust, one has to show repulsion and righteous indignation without seeming like a complete and utter pansy, which is where this quote comes into play. Han is obviously not happy that Leia convinced him to jump down a garbage chute, but at the same time, he’s not running around, whining and crying over the fact that he’s knee-deep in human fecal matter. The “incredible smell” line serves as the perfect balance of arrogant irritation and bad-ass indifference to use when someone lets out a particularly gruesome fart.
6. “Laugh it up, fuzzball.”
When to say it: When a fat/hairy person laughs at you
Again: not outright whiny and confrontational, but this line lets everyone know that you mean business and that you’re tired of their crap. Nobody would dare ignore an insult as unconventional-yet-harsh as “fuzzball,” but they also wouldn’t start a fight over it.
5. “Wonderful girl. Either I’m going to kill her, or I’m beginning to like her.”
When to say it: When talking about a woman you’re attracted to
It’s okay to show attraction to a woman, but not unqualified attraction. It’s okay to show that you would very much like to date a girl you’ve just met, but only so long as you remember to state that you don’t really like her that much. Guys who show unqualified attraction to potential mates usually end up as the schmoes who get screwed over when push comes to shove (“push,” in this case, being a synonym for “woman,” while “shove” is a synonym for “musician”). Not to mention that if the girl hears you use this line, her curiosity will be piqued: why does he like me? Why does he want to kill me? Such curiosity will lead her to talk to you more frequently in a teasing attempt to get you to reveal what you really think about her. So long as you never reveal the truth, the teasing will make way for flirting, and the flirting will more than likely make way for astounding amounts of unprotected sex.
4. “How we doin’?”
“Same as always.”
“That bad, huh?”
When to say it: When asking someone about their day
Ah, world-weariness. The idea that you’ve seen everything, done everything and had sex with everything, and yet you still consider life to be generally disappointing and awful. When using a quote like this, people will wonder why you’re so world-weary, and, if you don’t tell them, you’ll seem to have some sort of dark and mysterious past that you never talk about, despite the reality that you spent most of your childhood eating Cheetos and watching Thundercats. Is there a more wonderfully cynical, yet strangely attractive worldview to have? I think not.
3. “I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field controls my destiny.”
When to say it: During a debate on religion
It doesn’t matter if you actually believe in God; you have to use this quote in a debate on religion. It’s specific and useful enough to not necessarily seem like a Star Wars quote, and it’s got just the right amount of pseudo-philosophy and world-weary ranting to make you seem infinitely cooler than the other person in the debate. Yeah, you’ve been around. You’ve seen the world. You know what it has to offer. And, you know what? None of it impresses you. You are in charge of your life. God? Psh. Who needs him? Granted, after the debate is done you may need to go home and pray for twenty straight minutes as a method of apologizing to your deity of choice, but the important thing is that, to the guy you argued against, you look like a total bad-ass who remains completely unafraid of Jehovah’s wrath.
2. “Hey…it’s me!”
When to say it: When someone tells you to “be careful”
Who are they to doubt you? Hey, it’s you! If you weren’t the careful, clever guy you were, you’d be dead by now. You don’t need expressions of worry – you’re too cool for that. Admittedly, right after Han says this in ROTJ he steps on a twig and alerts every stormtrooper in the vicinity to his presence, but ignore that for now.
1. “I love you.”
“I know.”
When to say it: Duh
If you use this line at least once in your lifetime, you can die a happy man. It is the epitome of everything Han Solo stands for: cocky and bad-ass, yet sincere. It’s rumored that George Lucas (though he didn’t direct Empire Strikes Back, or even write its screenplay) wanted Han to tell Leia that he “loved her too,” but Harrison Ford demanded that the current version of the line we all adore so very much. Solo’s final line to Leia before getting his shit carbonite-frozen is, bar-none, the greatest moment in the entire Star Wars saga.
Not to mention that if you use this line on a woman who is legitimately expressing love for you, it will drive her nuts. If there’s one thing women love – other than musicians – it’s having strong feelings for someone who doesn’t reciprocate them (especially if the person in question is a musician). If you respond to “I love you” with “I love you, too,” you’re essentially begging the woman to lose interest in you. Making an arrogant, not-quite reciprocation of that love that hints at possible affection without outright stating it is the most intelligent thing you can possibly do; it keeps the mystery up, it keeps you in control and you keep your dignity intact.
Han Solo knows this. That’s why he’s Han Solo.
What to do with myself
Your goals for today are:
1) Don't do anything crazy at work.
2) Contact R.H. (Robert Half)
3) Look at schools / programs for YOU, not others.
4) Don't play WoW tonight until you put in at least an hour into goal #3.
1) Don't do anything crazy at work.
2) Contact R.H. (Robert Half)
3) Look at schools / programs for YOU, not others.
4) Don't play WoW tonight until you put in at least an hour into goal #3.
The long road back to shape
I have decided to start working out again.
Many reasons apply, but I simply feel that unless I grab a hold of my life, I will never be able to change the way things are going for me right now.
I'll be working out at the 24 Hour Fitness in Westlake Village (oh joy)
Many reasons apply, but I simply feel that unless I grab a hold of my life, I will never be able to change the way things are going for me right now.
I'll be working out at the 24 Hour Fitness in Westlake Village (oh joy)
Disclaimer
I have started this blog for my own reasons, but you are more than welcome to delve into my head as well. I am rather scatterbrained, so I will probably jump from topic to topic randomly. This is not meant to be a novel or to please outside readers, but simply a place where I can write stuff down.
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